I never saw myself as a courageous person.
I would have said that I was determined and persistent, but it is only with hindsight that I can see where I put my fears aside despite the unknown and courageously followed my own path.
2016 was my year to pivot. A major re-frame, you could say.
After 17 years of marriage, I asked my husband for a divorce.
On the outside, I had it all – the perfect life. A devoted husband, two beautiful boys, a dream home, a successful business and all the things that I thought I wanted. However, on the inside it was a very different story. I was emotionally drained, physically exhausted and I was beyond the stage of caring. My outside certainly did not match my insides but one thing I was 1000% sure of, was the love I had for my boys. They were the light in an otherwise dark time in my life.
I was done:
- being the good girl
- with being predictable
- with being a verbal punching bag
- being a single parent whilst being married
- being scared
- with others telling me how to live my life
- doing things to please others
- with feeling dead on the inside
- with putting everyone else first
I knew if I did not make a massive change, I would have died on a soul deep level and I would not have been able to lead my boys into adulthood.
I was ready:
- to peel back the layers, to face my demons and to uncover the truth of who I was
- to live a different type of life
- to discover a new way of being
- to ask for help, and to let down my guard
- to walk into my home without being ready for battle
- to live with ease and grace
- to discover what it felt like to love myself
- to find a love that was real, honest, and true
6 years later after embodying and integrating all that I had learnt:
- I radically lead myself
- I embrace each season of my life and all the joy it brings
- I show up unapologetically and I give others wild permission to do so
- I allow my soul to drive
- I give myself all the love and support that I readily give to others
- I share my magic, in my own unique way so that I can function as a lighthouse for others
- I live from a space of joy and pleasure
- I love making new connections and garnering new knowledge
- I live in alignment with my design
- I ask for help when I need help and graciously accept it when offered
- I build a big picture vision for my life
- I live a peaceful, harmonious life or at least I endeavour to do so
- I have discovered what a great love feels like, and he encourages me to be my best version every single day
- I now have two bonus boys who have made my heart sing
- My almost grown sons bring me laughter, joy, and the occasional hair pulling moment
So, my invitation to you, is a simple one.
If your mind, heart, body, and soul is whispering to you, “I’m done,” please don’t wait until the universe decides to knock you on your arse and screams “YOU’RE DONE” to make a change.
Every single one of us is a soul having a human experience. We each have a choice as to what that experience will be like.
One based in fear, guilt, anger, hustle, have to’s and should’s or one based in love, joy, pleasure, happiness, desire, and abundance….
Which one will you choose?